From The Vault

Today’s post is a throwback to the original alohilana blog from way back in 2008, affectionately known as vault posts. It’s been edited for clarity and relevancy, but the message is timeless and worth revisiting today.

It’s a rare feeling, honestly; I’m probably the wordiest person on the planet (hence, you know, the whole blog thing), but when I sat down in front of my keyboard to write something encouraging, well, I got stuck.

Sometimes it feels like the weight of my biggest problems are pressing down my literal soul. And there are truly no words.

I love that you’re here on my crazy journey of life, reading along as I wax poetic – or at least, wax incredibly over chatty – about my discoveries along the way. It’s really easy to share the happy things going on in my life, and oversharing positivity has to be my favorite.

But I recognize that it’s a default coping mechanism that can easily slip into an inauthentic place of creativity. If my skull were to be x-rayed, you might see this embedded in my hypothalamus;

‘laugh, and the world laughs with you; cry, and the world wishes you would just stop, already.’

But that’s not authenticity in the journey. That’s, well, human nature at its most basic level that seeks to increase pleasure and reduce pain. Sometimes healing and growth happens at the most impossible times, simply because we’re hanging on through the pain. Clinging to the last shred of faith you possess, struggling to breathe because of the weight on your chest, and begging God to help you dig in and survive just another moment.

I’m no expert, but I tend to believe that whether you just met Jesus or you’ve been holding His hand longer than you can even remember, you have days that you’d rather not re-live. I do. I have days that I don’t even want to think about, and certainly don’t want to be transparent about.

Those are the Romans 8:28 days.

They’re the situations that are bigger than a broken fingernail or a bad hair day. They’re more like a whirling maelstrom of vicious winds that batter and tug at my very soul, whispering accusations, voicing fears, and bringing memories and emotions that threaten to choke the life from me.

That’s when I have to cling to that tiny shred of faith, that faded scrap of paper on which the words of Paul are faintly scribbled;

“..we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose. [Rom. 8:28, KJV]”

Even knowing that every little thing is gonna be alright, sometimes that reminder’s not enough. When you’re gritting your teeth and can’t see past the next moment, you’re not looking for the ‘after’ picture. You’re just trying to survive the ‘before’.

Real life.

Jeremiah 31:3 says this: “…I have loved you with a love that lasts forever, and I have helped you come to Me with loving kindness. [Jer. 31:3 NLV]”

It might be tough right now for you. It is for me. I’m honestly just doing that clinging-to-sanity thing. But Jesus made it pretty simple to come to Him for help. Just speaking His name, voicing my pain, and laying it at His feet for help gives me the peace I need to hang on awhile longer.

That’s how I know I can make it until the ‘after’ photo. I can dig in and trust that when I get to the top of the mountain, I’ll know exactly why I had to struggle up the side of it, inch by painful inch.

And maybe, just maybe, you can, too.

Have a wonderful week, friends!

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